Saturday, December 29, 2007
WOAH this is a crazy year and it is gonna end soon.
I would say this year is not a very happy year for me I repressed a lot of emotion in me regarding things around me yet I still could look so happy. I am so tired of everything and I am starting to like lose my sight as things get blurry in front of me as I can’t be bothered to look at things clearly anymore.
* Laughter* I seems to be more like takeko from spider lilies. I have been working recently for my father by being a driver. And I have to say when I graduate I would be helping in my father’s business and now I am attending some courses here and there and also I need to go over to his partners place to learn accounting and stuff from what I know maybe even before I graduate haha.. I Might even be one of the directors hAAHAH.. This is so cool thinking about it but I wont even admit I am a director maybe I might I am a manger in the company. that is for later but thinking abt it is so nice… : )
Well back to the topic I been reading yes I finish my affinity book on my first day of work. And now I am reading alexis spiderlilies (N+P if u are reading this then u know I did just say in the forum that I will try to read) currently I am at page 70+ which the book is 176 pages so yup. The more I read the more I realized how I see myself in takeko. (I HOPE NPG u don’t read this cause I suspect I would have questions abt it hahaa… no the gathering itself would have questions arising abt the novel)
How long more can I repress myself?
I ……….realized as I grow older I oppressed myself more.
Beloved friends if u read this don’t worry even as I have said earlier so many things I going on but I seem to be happy.
And I have to apologized for that sometimes I am there physically but I tend to space out so much more that u guys are thinking that I am listening.
2007: restless,irritated, dreamy, more oppressive, stressed, tired, even more grumpy = me what i really hope is no one REad this!!
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There is this dark hole that if one were to travel in it, there isn’t anyway out of it cause escaping into it is the best way rather then getting out of it .because facing the real world of problems and headaches it is impossible to stop them from coming.
Run and hide is the best medicine. Farewell 2007, welcome 2008 of darkness.
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-MajorDuivel faced death at 9:08 PM
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Tuesday, December 18, 2007
hey there!
while i was looking for something in my old posts i notice some funny things which i wrote and also i notice how time been zooming by. i notice some little poem thingy i posted in my blog i,myself cant even remember them but it is in those old posts which was random and i have no recollection i ever did them.
hehe... i realised i grow up so much from those days till now. have u ever read your post from the past? i doubt that there is even 10 person in this world would re-read everything. it is just like asking a kid to re-read everything they wrote in their diary would they do it? i doubt so. but reading those post causes me to smile as somehow it brings back memories at the same time memories is stored into data of words as there are some memories i had already forgotten about them.
today i went to buy godiva chocolates for mom her birthday is just around the corner i know it is nothing much cause i cant afford for those big boxes of truffles i got her a packet of chocolate plus a chocolate bar haha.. (i cant wait to hear my mom reaction to the chocolate in her room with a note i wont be home to see her reaction but yeah)
i been spending money and money and more money. 2 weeks ago i spent money on dinner with my buddies which was worth it. then i went to watch enchanted tomorrow i am gonna watch alvin and the chipmunk with my friends.
i been thinking.. and i realised the more i open up myself, the more i shut everything out. it just like what i would say in the movie spiderlilies, takeko. so i do see mysef like 90% like her. who always cant open up.
it is true even tho i might have know you for years do i always say things that is deeply embedded in me?
i just cant, cant say anything . yes i am a bottler, i bottle up everything from thoughts, feeling etc. i may be thinking of something but my facial expression could be like smiling or etc but in the head it is totally a different thing i would say no one will highly understand the complexity
goes on in my head.
i am busying planning my birthday haha... DJ paranoia is helping me with the music.
i am so not gonna release the details on this special day. it sadden me as how long ago i was wondering how my 21st birthday would turn out to be? and i was thinking of all those funny possiblities and werid things.
GTG BYe... shall carry on later
-MajorDuivel faced death at 4:23 PM
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Saturday, December 08, 2007
What’s up?
Yes I am officially back from those hectic shit I been through and I would say it is really awful to go through so many things in a go or should I say a series of stressful events haha…
HAPPY Belated birthday Vanessa! Even tho I did wish u on your birthday. But I would say yesterday’s evening outing was fun even tho it was 2 day after your B-day. I really hope that the dinner is to your liking and so do Mag and li chin.
What I notice through the meal is that it been so long since we all last sat down and eat and talk and laugh at how stupid we can be sometimes and even though I paid for it but still I find it worth it cause the friendship we have cant be compared to the meal.
It’s so true what Vanessa said, it’s amazing how we still keep in contact with each other and still be best friends even though we are so busy with our own lives.
I find it pretty amazing how this friendship is like a fire that is always burning even though there is no one there to put coal to it.
Sorry peepz I didn’t have photos to show u but maybe mag’s blog have some photo of the meal haha…
School:1 more week and it is the 3 weeks vacation. I am so looking forward for it. Recently I feel that I always feel tired easily and sleepy that after 7pm my brains starts to shut down on it’s own and I am like a person without a brain.
Finally PP is over, FYp team is settle now left with the project we want to do , tests are like in it 3th round(there is one on Monday. Thursday and Friday)
GPA, if I said I dun care abt it! I would be lying to myself but indeed I know that my gpa is gonna drop but what can I do? This sem is too cramp and crazy that I cant even breath well enough.
I could so feel my body is crashing….. my eyes are like always tired I dun know why I just know it is tired.
-MajorDuivel faced death at 4:47 PM
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