Death, is only the beginning...

Monday, November 30, 2009

A void empty space,
a dark place just like a black box,
what goes in doesn’t come out.
Even if something comes out it won’t be as useful as you expected
Surrounded by the pure darkness, where no matter how much you shouted your voice won’t be heard. No matter how hard you try to hear your sobs, as your felt the tears streaming down your tearing eyes, All you could hear was your faintly heartbeat in the background of this room. Once again you open your mouth to shout, but there wasn’t any sound coming out of it.
Sitting there in this empty room, a-waiting for the first ray of light to shine into this place to light it up with colors as this world is only dominated by one color.
When would the blinding light pierce through this place?
Before the light come shining through,
everything would be as it is………………......

Major duivel

-MajorDuivel faced death at 9:03 PM

Friday, November 13, 2009

For the past few days I couldn’t write anything as everything in my mind is blank.
When I see things nothing was streaming in my head except a blank wall. Every time when I tried to concentrate my cognitive mind to come up with something or at least something interesting but none of it came up except White smoke and blank walls.
So today, when I woke up feeling much better as I felt that finally my brain came back to me.

I met my first semester, first year facilitator, Kelly, at the coffee shop I didn’t notice her at first but suddenly I was like taking a double look at the group opposite me and then I realized it was her . It was nice of her to come over to chit chat with me.

I left the coffee shop after my meal when an ongoing downpour was occurring and I had to get back home to take a umbrella. As my mom send me to do an errand and I was not in the mood to drive but rather in the mood to walk there.
As I was walking with an umbrella under the rain it seems to smoothen my mood making me feel relax as the cool droplets splashes again my skin, with that constant rattling sounds on my umbrella. It was like music was playing through my ears.
And during that slow stroll in the rain then I realized that I like being alone. when i'm in that kind of state my mind is filled with words, images and thoughts.

Weirdly, a couple of days ago I was walking under the rain with a friend but nothing of such calmness came to me everything was blackout for me. Guess it only works when I am alone and my body had enough rest.

During the walk I start to notice things like I never usually notice, like what is it like when it rains and I just got out of school when I was in primary school. And seeing all those kids running in the rain make me missed those days where everything looks so big and beautiful. Now everything I seen is bleak and insignificant, I heard them laughing and playing it made me smile a little.

I guess I was in a very good mood during that time.

I watch Jennifer’s body with von and André. I would say we had great fun together except for dinner the meal in food court was Horrible that we ate half of it as we don’t want to waste our money and Ran to eat at MacDonald’s for a 2nd round. I never ate like this for a long time and somehow I won’t eat like that anymore. This type of binging is not good for me I tried so hard to cut down on eating so I wont want to binge again LOL.
Now I am sleepy, I shall go catch up on my sleep.

Waiting for the petals to fall off, to know what is await in front or what type of installment has been planned,

Major Duivel

-MajorDuivel faced death at 12:28 AM

Friday, November 06, 2009

Sigh~~ I am hopelessly useless in a way.
I think I only know how to spend my parent’s money.
I think when I am not doing productive things such as studying for test or exams or something useful. I am wasting time and my parent’s money as I would want to hang out and when I do that I would be spending their money. I usually don’t ask my folks for stuff even though sometimes I do have want like things I really want and things I would need. But often I would have a want list and kept it away from my folks as they would have a massive headache if they see that.

I had learnt how to separate wants and needs when I was young as my family wasn’t very well to do in the first place. Thus I always think a lot on something before I buy it. Even now I am still thinking so hardly on the DSLR. On top of that is my Thailand trip. ROFL.. It’s seems I am spending money again somehow it seems that way. So people would say I should work. But the fact is I am working for my dad somehow semi-part time and I don’t really get paid as my dad would tell me this : “since when, when you ask for money I said no?” This always makes me pause in my tracks and say ‘he is right about that’ whenever I ask my dad for money he would give me without second thoughts. (But I didn’t ask for big amount like give me $200)

Hm… yawn…. I am so sleepy now.
I think I maybe down with a cold.
caught in the rain abit yesterday. (slight note to my friends who like to travel, tiger airway is having the early bird savers again so 1 dollar flight is back hahaa..)

MAJor duivel

-MajorDuivel faced death at 2:44 PM

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Recently it had been raining. It would be all warm, hot and humid and the next min it would be pouring rain so badly. My thai friend is staying in my house, it is really nice we all are like a big family. *chuckle* it seems like my parents had a daughter whom was being kidnapped to Thailand. This thai friend of mine had become a family friend not only that our families are like all close together, Like if I were to go Thailand I would be treated very well too when I am staying at her auntie’s place.
My friend had no interest in shopping in Singapore as the things here are expensive so I have brought her around to take photos of Singapore. I kind of had a crash course lesson learning things from her using a DSLR. She owns a canon D350 and I learn some basic from her. So it is good and I am kind of itching to buy my NIKON now… and she is here she can guide me on what I should get and what is bad and what is good. So I have someone I trust on advising me.

I received news that my temple is organizing Thailand trip and I told my friend that if I were to go Thailand which is Bangkok and I would extend my stay as my folks would only be there for 3 days. Lol…. 3 days is not enough for me in bkk.
NIKON D90 would you be mine?? ROFL………………. Going nuts thinking of it…

Ps: Jess if u see this, would you be free on 9th nov for lunch haha want to have lunch together?(in rp) (if u didnt reply me then i guess i must sms you soon)

Sleepy MAJor Duivel

-MajorDuivel faced death at 12:30 AM