Death, is only the beginning...

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Yeah BABY I am back!!
Even tho I may be back that doesn’t means that I am happy.

I am SO tired, I really wonder do I really sleep when I am actually sleeping?
A question which I am still trying to solve on my own, even with 7 hrs of sleep I still feel tired when I wake up. Is this the so call burn out aftermath process after a LONG period of being burned out?
I need a holiday… that is a fact. I wanted to go holiday even if it’s short trip it would make me happy but I am weight down by the fact that Money is not that easy to come by, thus I am thinking real hard should I go or should I not as saving money now is essential at the moment.

On top of that travelling now is abit risky, not only with the global recession but there is a Global sickness. The H1n1 is what I am referring to it seems safer to be at Homeland than be outside as I would say our country is Super KIASU.

And currently I am feel all sicky. I am not sure is it because the Weather is too overwhelming hot that it is KILLING ME?

Major duivel

-MajorDuivel faced death at 5:45 PM

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Hey peeps to those who already know good. But this is an note; I wont be coming online for awhile as I am been bar off the computer. (now I am using it as my bro was using it first then I’m doing a quickie update) As if I were to use the computer I have to pay for the electrical. Thus I am not blaming the internet. Cause I DOING IT FOR A CAUSE TO PROVE I CAN DO WITHOUT THE COMPUTER…..
Anything just contact me on my cell phone. As now IT would be ME paying for it.

-MajorDuivel faced death at 11:33 AM

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Ok I had a bad dream or rather it was a not bad dream till things turn nasty. I was in abit of shock after I woke up as I didn’t dare to eat or drink anything due to this dream. This is how I try my best to portray what happen but *smile* hahaha it is a secret even my good friend ask me I won’t spill the beans on this except this is roughky what happen ok I won’t want to recall what happen. (see below)

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In this place it is filled with both pleasure and disgust,
It started out nice and sweet,
It was something I had never savored before,
I was trying to take in everything I could in this new world.
Yet things are still in shades of grey where the only color seen was black and white.
The other colors just vanish as if they don’t belong or even exist in the first place.

Then it turns into something terrible, the taste in my mouth
Was a mixture of disgust and rotten,
The stench filling my nostril was so strong that I want to vomit.
The sudden urge of wanting to vomit out the drink I just drank was so overwhelming.
But I can’t as my mouth was pry open and I can’t move as more fluid was being Pump into my mouthI was covered in panic as I was trying my best to move,
So that I could quickly remove the rotten taste in my mouth,
No matter how many times I brush my teeth the decay and stench was lingering around.
That it was killing me.
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It was like dream hopping the horrible dream then to the next.
I dreamt of Ez, siti and the gang with Jessie at some beach which we were suppose to hangout. I was Still having the displeasure in my mouth from the previous dream that I was down then I CANT REMEMBER WHAT HAPPEN, I THINK I WOKE up cause it was disturbing to have the first fragment of the dream then linking it to my friends who were casually chit chatting.

For one whole day I KEEP thinking of that dream and that Awful taste and smell in my mouth. I didn’t want to think of it but it keep replaying in my head ARGHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…………… after I freshen up myself I got a glass of orange juice to drink and I nearly spit it all out as it taste werid and my first reaction was like “OH NO this is gonna be like the dream”

major duivel

-MajorDuivel faced death at 7:43 PM

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Argh… I am so tired.. that I am can just dozed off anytime… even with sleep I still feel like I am lack of it. SOMETHING IS wrong.. ok sorry I think I shall leave it for now with this.

Till then I shall blog it wont be long till I blog again *grin*

MAJOR DUIVEL

-MajorDuivel faced death at 2:21 PM

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Thanks EZZIE !! HAHA… ok EZZAH for your comment that this is getting dusty around here. I never knew people are keeping track of my blog ahahaa… ok here goes today post.
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I am very fascinated by Nature except HUMAN nature. I appreciate how nature is like and how intriguing it can be. I really wonder how much do humans actually appreciate things around them.i personally appreciate music, arts, movies and scenery and on top that I do appreciate my friends who always help me out when I needed help.

So.. So far have you caught the drift yet what my main point is today? *drum roll* if you are quick enough u would know I repeated Appreciate a couple of times. And yes today I am touching on appreciation.

Let me start off with some examples: have you ever appreciated what your friend does for you? Or you just shrugged it off into a common statement that because that is my friend that why if he/she helps me or do something for me that is natural since we are friends and in life people actually make use of each other and appreciation is not needed.
Or did you think that making use of them is always the best thing as when you needed help you just ask people politely and when you didn’t need them anymore you just kick them aside and let them rot. And sometimes even backstab them

Have you ever appreciate what your parents have done for you? Or have you simply just ignored them thinking that they are irritating? I guess most of us find our parents irritating but ever think of how they struggle to actually provide you what you want. I don’t know why but after doing a reflection on this topic I start to see things which I didn’t in the past as I was too clouded to see it. Thus I would say now even though I may disagree with my parents on certain things but I am learning to appreciate them.

This is one thing I don’t understand. Everything humans would say I appreciate arts, I appreciate nature but never have i heard I appreciate Humans. The human nature itself is always tainted no matter how much or how good a person is. I wonder would there be a day when we can all learn to appreciate everything around us? I recall from a Talk given by one of the MP she say that humans all loves to be appreciated and be acknowledge for their help. One simple form of acknowledgement is a simple “Thank you” or “thank you so much” or a simple treat.
But I think due to the dark side winning over the good such appreciation for others is getting less popular.

ARGH……………….. I AM getting all screwed up, whatever this is my thoughts so it just random gibberish. It may not be agreeable to everyone but this is said not in anyway to put anyone down. So YA.. no offences

"if i could bring it down i would most likely bring myself Down first ..."
Major Duivel

-MajorDuivel faced death at 8:35 PM

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

If moving forwards is to actually throw yourself into unknown waters, then I would hope I don’t actually move on. But life is hard if you don’t actually get up and move from your current position as nothing waits for you except if you reach out and grab it.

But if I were to reach out and touch it, would I regret it? Would I be happy? Or would life be the same just only you are moving on but nothing is changing.
I sometimes wonder would we actually have the time to stop and look at things around you, to admire what it is and appreciate what you have and not condemn everything you see and feel that when you lose something important or someone act opposite of you then you will start to think everyone is against you. What I want is that if people could always see others in their point of view and not always think that their point of view is always correct as humans do make mistakes.

If everyone is perfect then I would say this word perfect is an understatement, nothing in this world is perfect let alone a person. If you feel you are perfect think again as everyone has their flaws even me, I agree that I personally is somewhat a perfectionist but I know I am not a perfect piece. And these flaws I am still ironing them out. So would you actually do that?

Back to the question of my past thoughts, I still wonder like a bubbling curiosity how does it feel like living in the mental hospital feel like? Especially being locked up in those white cushion room for a day or two or longer, what does it do to a person mind?

And how much does it break a person mind to go crazy? Where is the limit? How much is enough to push a person before they meet their breaking point? I really wonder is there an answer for all of these? Or they don’t. if I could do it to myself I won’t mind trying to see the answers for myself. I am like why is an apple called apple

somehow like I am an antirealist. Do you really wonder why white is called white? Why isn’t it called cat and dog? And why dogs and cats are not call stars and moon or even sun?

Hahaa…. I am losing it….

Major duivel

-MajorDuivel faced death at 5:10 PM