Friday, April 30, 2010
I have been awfully quiet haven’t I?
I guess that is normal because I was so calm and serene that it bothers me.
My mind has been so blank, as blank as a piece of paper. My thoughts were all running in a straight line everything is so in order that I find it boring. Bored of my own thoughts and mind, that I find it ridicules as how can I be bored of myself ?
So to fill the gap I had, I played the sim 3 constantly for a few days then eventually I got bored of it. As the new game has so much different thing compared to Sim 2 that I had to play around with it to actually learn it. So that is one part of it.
Another thing is I think I am socially deprived. As in seriously deprived, I have never been out of my house for more than 5KM. so that means I’m always either running mini errands nearby or have my breakfast and then back home.
So I am always at home, it’s not like I am complaining but I have never say more than 10 words in verbal to any of my friends from I don’t know when.
The last person I talked to or rather he called me up to ask me it lasted like 1-2 mins only.
I wonder am I leaving my friends out, if I were to call them up, what am I going to talk to them about. Even on msn I find it hard to hold a solid conversation. I don’t know how many people read this but if you do, please don’t purposely call me up and chit chat with me. It will make me feel bad, as I was seriously highlighting “A NEGLECTED friend is here” and suddenly I feel I have totally forgotten how to socialized with ppl anymore. So let’s just leave it as it is, haha the only friend I have always been talking to is mikey I guess; only thing is it’s a one way conversation.
After playing with sim 3 for a long period of time I suddenly feel I became a sim itself. A robot sitting in front of a computer doing what I was program to do and I am doing it every day, with a same programmed running in me
ARGH…………………I hate it when my thoughts are not bouncing about.
M.Duivel
-MajorDuivel faced death at 7:11 PM
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Monday, April 12, 2010
The jump
Sometimes when u are standing on the cliff ready to leap,
you take a look down, you frost in motion,
wondering is this the right choice?
When you realized that there isn’t any choice,
you embrace yourself, took a deep breath,
tell yourself, ‘you would be fine!’ ,
as your heart races against your chest .
when you jump off that cliff,
Thoughts started flooding your mind
as you were decending into a free fall,
all the good and bad things in your life started to flash in-front of you, doing a mini slideshow of your life.
When you hit the water and
awoke you from your daze,
you laughed and said, ‘Hey It was not so bad’,
and started thinking, taking the leap off isn’t a bad choice.
You never regret doing the plunge.
And started swimming,
you try to get to shore,
you struggle to get onto land.
But no matter how hard you struggle, and swim,
your body tells you that you weary,
but you cant give up,
all hopes is lost as you just can’t get to your goal .
So sometimes it’s not how hard it is to make the decision or to take the plunge or survive the fall but rather the hardest part is sustaining your life as to get to the goal and say ‘hey, I made it’Major duivel
-MajorDuivel faced death at 9:37 PM
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Wednesday, April 07, 2010
I went to a clinic and had my music plug into my ears and I was enjoying whatever tunes are playing on my mp3. And I started looking around the clinic as sometimes music has to go well with a visual. As usual I was sitting there looking around; only thing is there were eye candies walking around. While listening to my music a thought struck my mind, just like how I always did suddenly when my brain is calm. It was ‘have you ever wonder what songs people were playing on their mp3?’ I know this is weird but also ‘if you could listen in to their music would you?, doesn’t it seems interesting to find out what they are listening to which make them all bobbing their heads and lip singing to the songs’. I think this idea struck my mind because I was listening to an explicit song which makes me all Smileys and laughing at the lyrics. At that point if u were to come up to me and say what song are you listening to I would of course lie about it, depending on how close you are to me.
Sometimes when I have nice music playing , it block out all the other noises around me I always feel I’m in my own world. And it like I’m filming my own version of MTV with my own eyes, Sometimes I would be laughing at myself because of what I am thinking for scenes to fit the songs.sometimes it was influences by friends messages for example; you were chatting with me online and it was funny and somewhere, somehow that particular song got link to that conversation only that small portion and I would end up smiling like crazy. If i didnt remember wrongly that song was “GRIND WITH ME”
(hahahaha... I won’t say who it was that got me smiling) but the song after grind with me just make me smile even worst hahaaha.. But that explicit song stops me from smiling but rather I was trying to stop myself from grinning. And it is hard because I have to stop grinning and stop thinking about the images haha...
I shall stop talking abt this like right now hahaa..(And HELL NO I won’t tell anyone what song I was listening to)
I found it weird as recently my dreams seem to be reality and my reality seems to be the dream. I can’t separate them anymore, the only difference between dream and reality that i can pin-point is that, I clearly could remember what I did in reality and not in my dreams only vaguely on certain things/matters.
Looney Tuned
Major duivel
-MajorDuivel faced death at 11:59 PM
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GIVEN UP...
I have gave up on testing and to my experimental test. ahhaha i am gonna put back my cute Ipod nano. the touch is officially cranky. sometimes it plays sometimes it doesnt. SO yucky.. i dun want to use the youtube videos as Songs anymore
the weather recently have been awfully off. its either TOO HOT or TOO WET(raining nonstop). Gosh how i wish i stayed in a big Auto-thermostat room which could just balance the temperature just nice so it is not too hot or too cold. hahaha ... I can just DREAM on it. nothing much for me to say here except GOODbye hahaha
MD
-MajorDuivel faced death at 4:00 PM
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Tuesday, April 06, 2010
i am doing an experiment hahaa... I remove my self created playlist (which i uploaded the mp3 myself) and restore the old Itouch music player with songs from youtube. And i guess i know why it was cranky recently mixpod was changing some things on their website i guess :) so yup now music and video back again :)
-MajorDuivel faced death at 1:44 PM
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Saturday, April 03, 2010
yes and i did change my player.
now the songs are all uploaded by MOI.
So i dun need to be bothered by the ISP having problem with whatever hahaha.. i get my music anyway and everywhere
ps: i hope u guys will like the songs ahahhaa... I love these songs ;)
MD
-MajorDuivel faced death at 4:02 PM
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Friday, April 02, 2010
Omg… I freaking hate my music player. Anyway realized it doesn’t auto play anymore. (For me it doesn’t, so I always press the play on the video and the songs after the first one will just auto play, and at times it doesn’t even play At all.) Next second, thing on the list that is irritating me’ NTU up till now Still dun need my documents, I find it awfully weird. I did call them up in March and the person told me, currently we dun need your documents yet, if there is any need to we will contact you. As now we will base on what u have Submitted as the most accurate information. Now … Doesn’t sound weird, so are they going all high tech by Asking for our records from our poly and MOE directly?
now it is April 2nd and if I am not wrong In another 2 more week they should/ would be giving me a reply if I got accepted or not.
Somehow I felt liberated and emancipated in a way.
I been practicing my chords for guitar and somehow it’s better but not very good.
I somehow think the musical side of me is coming out again. Hahaha..
Thanks for those who wish me good luck in my application for university.
Major duivel
-MajorDuivel faced death at 3:54 PM
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