Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Day 4 - Sloth. Seven things you neglect to do.
1) Burn out videos from the video camera out in time.
2) doing things which I think is not important at the moment and procrastinate it till I finish doing what I am doing.
3) I neglected my friends >.<
4) my life
5) taking care of myself
6) my cousins
7) my passion
I seldom neglect to do things but those after my friends are what I can think of.
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recently my mood is being Going up and down. It stressing for me too it be like happy and then next not in the mood and then next grumpy. It’s fluctuating like crazy,I wonder is it because I have been stressing myself out. Ok now I am tired I shall go rest as I need to wake up tomorrow to be somebody’s hand again to write lol.
MD
-MajorDuivel faced death at 10:35 PM
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Thursday, September 23, 2010
The third blog challenge, somehow doing this challenge makes me remember to be more like a human and not like a shadow somewhere.
Day 3 - Wrath. Seven things that piss you off.
1)People who made use of me yet thinking I am stupid enough to not know, because I always know when you genuine need my help or just plainly acting stupid to just make use of my help.
2)I get pissed off when I am being all nice to and someone just went all ballistic on me
3)It pisses me off seriously, if you were to shot your mouth on things you aren’t meant to say out to everyone to listen, as in the first place such secrets were told to people who are worthy to keep them and by spilling the beans not only pisses me off seriously but making me lose my trust in you.
4)When people ill-treat animals, I get rather angry even though I might not like that particular animal.
5)When people always think I am what they think I am, such as Rich and etc. But I am not, so if you know me well enough, you will know the truth on your own.
6)Waking up without enough sleep could already make me grouchy and cranky, but if you were to irritate me a little, the monster just takes over from where I left it.
7)Blaming me for things I never say or never do + lying to me
Sigh~~ why must I slowly interrogate myself. These are general things that my friends know which is like the handbook of pris 101. Lol.. But anyway I am a hot headed person so this are what I could think of right now.
Now someone has found the spare key have fun inside the place lol.
knocking down walls with your own sleight hammer very admirable. --> Laugh
-MajorDuivel faced death at 12:10 PM
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Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Day 2 - Envy. Seven things you lack and covet
well this is the second "Confession" I guess this has made it seems that way.
1) I lack of taking pride in what I do, I always feel that it is not good enough.
2) I lack the confident, which I should believe in myself.
3) I want to be more happy and not hate the world for being unfair (sounds like a 5 year old kid)
4) I lack the ability to forgive someone instantly but would rather choose to forget it than to hate them.
5) I want to be more able to control my temper at times it just go off and I will snap at whoever it is.
6) I yearn to be more patient, as sometimes I can get rather impatient on certain matters.
7) I WANT TO BE SUPER SMART!!
Hahaha…….. omg. *look away*
I don’t believe I actually wrote the truth. Have Fun C. while reading this.
-MajorDuivel faced death at 11:46 PM
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Monday, September 20, 2010
The seven deadly sins
• Day 1 - Pride. Seven great things about yourself
• Day 2 - Envy. Seven things you lack and covet.
• Day 3 - Wrath. Seven things that piss you off.
• Day 4 - Sloth. Seven things you neglect to do.
• Day 5 - Greed. Seven worldly material desires.
• Day 6 - Gluttony. Seven guilty pleasures.
• Day 7 - Lust. Seven love secrets.
This is the blog challenge I received from ciara. Well I am gladly accepting this challenge. So it would be done, guess this is like a way to knowing more about me.
Day 1 – Pride. Seven great things about yourself
1. When I set my mind on something, I will be determining to see it till the end to achieve what target I have set for myself. Such example is like my driving licence, I made up my mind to attain it on my first try and I did.
2. I uphold my personal principles which were taught by my parents and my own morals I pick up on my own as I go.
3. I am always there for my friends, whenever they need me. Which I won’t mind giving them a listening ear and giving them some advise (if needed or if I could give any)
4. I’m sort of independent which most of the time I do my own stuff without bothering my parents for help.
5. I cherish things that people give me, and I appreciate their thoughts on the gift.
6. I’m not a spend thrift person. I tend to consider carefully before buying something, especially those above 100 dollars.
7. I will always try to understand and not to be bias by judging them, by trying to get to know them more.
-MajorDuivel faced death at 2:40 PM
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Sunday, September 19, 2010
I can’t sleep, I wonder why. I was all sleepy early, but I guess I Should set my mind at ease and not think too much about my studies for now. I would only know how my burning questions would be replied only on Monday.So what I can do now at the moment is to relax myself and not worry too much.
Hm time to sleep and go to dream land I hope something nice turn up in lala land lol. I haven’t been able to recall wat goes on in my dreams nowadays. But only small fragment of what happen which seems to be like nothing at the same time. When I try desperately to remember, it made it worst and more vague
Major duivel te Amo
-MajorDuivel faced death at 1:15 AM
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Friday, September 17, 2010
Sometimes when I am in my small little world,
I realized that I notice things that people doesn’t or rather I get so wrapped up in myself that I never notice what is happen around me.
When I am in my little world, sometimes I go there to hide but at time I go there to think.
I find it hard to maintain a balance anymore. As there isn’t a clear line to state how long should I stay there and how often should I retreat into my safe zone to hide.
Sometimes it’s like when I keep quiet and kept to myself. I am trying to go tame the little monster in me, I have been controlling myself on going on a full rage and also exploding all those things I am not happy with.
At times I wonder is it a bad thing as I can visualize things and when I project an image in my mind. It’s as if I could feel and listen to everything that goes with my visualization. And that happens when I am ultimately bored.
I am a person who is living life like a paradox. Well actually life is full of paradox and so personality of people is filled with it too. There are many complexities that we have not fully come to understand but I am still trying to figure myself out.
I’m already spurting nonsense so I better stop as I have lost my train of thoughts awhile back.
-MajorDuivel faced death at 11:59 PM
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Thursday, September 16, 2010
I am so tired that I could feel my fucking brain is going to implode.
Pardon my choice of crude word; I just want to make it as a supporting word to emphasize what I am feeling right now.
Woah this week is going to be over soon. I have been quite busy this week, been going out almost every day and I think the only two days which I was at home was Monday and Friday(tomorrow)
Over the weekend last week I was busy, hanging out with my friends from New Zealand. I am starting to miss Kelly now, sigh why does Singapore have to be so far away. It was nice how I receive a call by Stefa on Monday which I was at home because my friend were having a short trip to Malacca and on Tuesday morning they would be flying off to china. So stefa asked me out for a moving,resident evil:afterlife, without thinking I immediately said I would love to go. As I was looking for people to go watch this movie too, and I am too lazy to go organized an outing which I will never get to watch the show. I like how it was that stefa and I went to catch the flick together and it was great hanging out with her as it was the only chance for her to open up herself and share with me everything as a friend. It’s how funny I know steph for quite awhile in our usual outing, plus she was my secondary school senior whom I know her name and stuff but I dun know much about her. And she do know who I am lol.. somehow I am easily to recognized and know since I always hang out with different cliques during school time.
I guess steph was the only one who I told her up in her face about something about myself and she shared with me so much that I really see how strong a friendship is like; that when we come to a point we know more than we usually know when we start to share things. Well I know lenny and the entire gang coming to 9 years, and in this 9 years it was like yesterday when we all first met each other. Well it’s great to have them as friends, they are the first group of friends which I am VERY much myself. We do stupid and crazy things to the max that I will always laugh and smile when I think of it. (Vanessa,mag,li chin.. You guys are also my good friends and buddies, and I am very much myself too when I am with you guys so please don’t mistaken ok. And We do crazy stuff too ;) )
And Wednesday + Thursday was horrible. I felt very drain because on Wednesday I didn’t even sleep a wink as my brain was so active that I didn’t even sleep. Which the source of problem came from the Americano from starbucks, I drank it like in the afternoon 3+ pm which that caffeine level so super powerful by the way I actually did enjoy the black coffee (with only 1 packet of raw sugar which didn’t even make it taste any different). I can’t blame anyone except myself for having that drink. I promised my dad that I would help him out with his client’s house painting work. (Plus the week before I had very little sleep I guess it is all accumulated and crashing my system at a go.)
I did go in the morning with all the caffeine still in my system I was so alert till 8+pm at night which I started to feel tired and I doze off in a funny way. My dad was on the phone with his client and I was already drifting in and out, practically zoning. With my eye lids open and closing like sleeping, awake, sleeping, awake but I was still able to register every single word my dad said.
I know that I only touch my bed less than 10 minutes and I am already off to LALA land. Lol.. now I love to say LaLa land.
This morning I woke up feeling Rather thrashy, very grumpy person and not talking much. After breakfast my dad kept on talking to me and I was like a person who could only say 1-3 words. And he immediately said “you are rather grumpy today” and I replied “I am still sleepy and stoning” and I took my own sweet time to boot my system up. He said that to be at 8am and only 9.30am then I was like all chirpy and smiling. Before that I had no facial expression but rather stoning, I told my dad happily “OK I AM FINALLY Up and running” with a big smile on my face.
I love painting work but I hate how I get so absorb into the work that I forget about my injuries and now it is hurting all over.
On Wednesday I think, I might have sprain/overstrained my right shoulder again, it’s hurting so badly today. Thank goodness I am not dealing with the ceiling. As firstly, I can’t raise my right arm up pass my shoulder height without feeling a strain. I even found it hard to lift it up a little to get something from my back pocket and I felt a pain on my shoulder joint and my shoulder muscle seems to be pulling too.
Then today, my right knee now is like buckling as I didn’t even sit down and it is in pain now. My right hand seems to be stiff after staying in one position for the whole day. Plus my back >.<
My system is crashing… I am going off now.
Major Duivel is signing off now to try inflicting more pain lol… what a sadist lol.
-MajorDuivel faced death at 11:59 PM
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Wednesday, September 15, 2010
I couldn’t explain why I love this song immediately after I heard it from lala Hsu aka xu jia ying. Most people know that I seldom or rarely listen to mandarin songs or even get obsessed by one. Yup.. it’s a fact I like xu jia ying, Lala(her name) is a amazing singer and writer, she can really compose songs that drives me thinking. I usually get send into deep thoughts on certain particular song because I was trying to understand what it meant and the actually feeling of it. It’s like I could see a entire movie infront of my eyes, but her second album limit was written after feeling heartbroken by her boyfriend. It contained so much emotion that was bursting practically out of every single words being sang.
My mandarin isn’t really that good thus I would spend more time understanding what she is singing and this *dryly laugh* slowly made me understand why I like it. The first time I heard it, it’s not I didn’t understand fully. But it’s the lyrics that caught my attention, the first song I immediately like was ‘my home’. This song practically is like a friend who is heartbroken after a sour relationship, who was very upset that she cried and turned to her friend for comfort. How do I say, I think Lala during the period of time she was enduring her breakup with her boyfriend, She had friends supporting her emotionally by encouraging her and be with her. Even though they can’t give her the answer she needed, they still tried her best to cheer her up.
My whole breakdown of the song, pardon me for those who read this and listen to the song. Will say this is completely different from what she sang. But this is what I understand and felt from the song.
The whole song the first part is about how that particular friend felt after the breakup and those mistakes she had done like how she was always giving in to the relationship and actually lost herself in the midst of relationship by not following her heart.
the second part of song is like this friend wants to give up on everything in life and couldn’t move on. More of like wanting to run away from the problem and this even made her forget about her dreams by giving up, and by giving up she can’t face herself.
the third part of the song, it’s when this person(friend) saw a flower (I seriously dun know what type of flower it is) but the flower was beautiful and laughing at how stupid the person was to give up on her own future. (Sorry I can’t explain the rest for this verse. Lol I can’t explain fully how I felt)
The fouth part, it’s like as a friend you can go accompany her on a holiday but you cant give her any form of release from her pain as there is a lot of complexity in life that she has to face and fight on her own.
The last part, is like you manage to get this friend laughing, you hope that the wind would quickly dried up the tears on her face. And you will carry on encourage her by singing for your friend.(more like a act of being supportive)
The whole song, I like it a lot how she describe it as a 3rd person view. And I think this is what friends usually do when another friend go through some kind of hardship.
Sigh~ I should stop listening to her song for now… it can get me into the mood, it was when she written it.
I am SO going to buy both of her albums, I Am officially supporting her. (i just keep going into a blank mode and the whole picture started forming inside my own head. like the story is playing in my head. Guess that is what happen u have someone who could visualised things very well)
-MajorDuivel faced death at 2:12 AM
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Saturday, September 11, 2010
I guess I should find blogging without a clear mind it fun.That is kind of true; it will be fun since my brain is not functioning 100% as it should be.
I am very happy that my friend, Kelly, is in Singapore right now. We hang out tonight had a couple of drinks and well I had seasha with her,jess(Kelly’s friend) and my brother. It was 3 years since I last touch this forbidden thing. And I AM SOOOOO relax and happy now. Thanks to it. The next try will be 3 years later lol.. I don’t do such shit that often as I am a good girl.
Now I still smell like apple. Gosh… can the smell just Go away now, I am starting to feel bad as I did this on an “don’t tell Daddy” policy lol.. This is such an inside joke with my friend.
Yawn.. I should go soon. Have to wake up later to go out with Kelly later.
-MajorDuivel faced death at 3:32 AM
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Sunday, September 05, 2010
The passing of clouds in the skies are just like what we all are. Being said that I meant that we humans are like the clouds in the skies as a small portion of a cloud would join another cloud forming into a bigger one and as it get bigger and bigger, it will break away and reform this cycle all over again. By relating this back to my metaphor, humans are like that too sometimes after drifting away from our friends it’s time to reconnect back with them, by going out with them and during this time we enjoy ourselves and go crazy together just like what the nature is doing. When more and more clouds forms together their energy levels increases thus having more charge particles in the sky. This is like going out with more friends and in a bigger the group the crazier the entire outing becomes, I know using nature as a metaphor is weird but seriously I find it weird how this world is created in the way how life is like. After having fun with your friends, we all will part our ways and carry on with our daily life and come back for another gathering on another day, Isn’t this just like how rain is like?
Clouds forms another clouds then breakdown into smaller drops and discharging of negative charges and the whole cycle repeat itself.
I suddenly realized that the negative charges in our live are which we share with our friends such as the problems we faced and how everyone motivates and encourage the other by giving their advice and opinion.
When the rain stop, that is when the gathering had come to an end and everyone walk back home feeling happy , looking forward for the next gathering. Isn’t this how the whole vicious cycle of nature is, which was done over and over again like forming into bigger clouds, discharging of negative charges, breaking down into water and it starts all over again. So has anyone look at how beautiful and wonderful nature is that it can be related to us in one way or another.
I know this is nonsensical but it just pop into my mind and I decided to write it as my blog for reflection for today.
For those who read this, you might wonder why I came up with this.
I went out with Daphne and mark today after having brunch with my folks in toa payoh. We were suppose to go out last week but it was a very last minute thing that most of us were not able to come out, but I was okay for it since I was free and I was very bored. But it got scrap and postpone till this Sunday. Daphne had officially let me turn her into a L4D2 Lover; after introducing her this game a few weeks ago while waiting for our movie time slot for step up 3. She was the first to text me on Sunday asking if I am free and do I want to go Play L4D2. And my replied to her was ‘today?’ *laugh* it’s quite funny as usually I won’t accept last minutes request like that but I agreed.
Since it was postpone till today, I am glad we went to play together. Mark is not a L4D player and never played it before so we are all quite Noobish after being seated infront of the computer and I had to do a run through of the key buttons again as it had been quite long ago since I last played. Lol.. even daphne had a problem remembering the keys. So we were teaching mark the keys we know and we started playing a few rounds and he got the hang of it. We met at 2pm but officially started playing like at 3pm and we played All the way till 8pm, yeah 5 hours of solidly gaming. We did pick up some necessity before going to the LAN shop such as sweets, water and food.
When it was around 6pm, daph said ‘it’s already 6pm, can we stop playing at 8pm for dinner?’ And mark went ‘this game is seriously addictive hehe but okay I am hungry too let’s stop at 8pm’ and I just nod my head too agreeing about stopping at 8pm when I was dead and the game was still on I turn to ask mark on what should we have for dinner since he was dead too. (LOL) anyway we always have a problem with deciding on what to eat as everyone is so willing to give way and follow suit with the other (this is why I love this group of friend a lot, that sometimes it irritate me that No decision can be made beforehand but it will work out once we all meet up and decide as a group)
The funny part during L4D2 was Seeing Mark getting flung out of the bridge with a Charger, charging at him at full force and everyone saw the charger coming in that direction for a very far distance. Yet, Mark just stood his character there and started firing at it and I was quick far squatting behind mark and shooting the charge with what visible vision I had and the next I know I saw Mark FLY out of the bridge and die instantly And it was one of those moment that Daphne, me and mark’s friend Burst out laughing crazily. Daphne was still quite giggly about it that we couldn’t contain ourselves and started laughing again and mark was like “wah… How can I fly out of the bridge like that and die”. “I did a quick turn of my head to my right and saw his expression in disbelieve and I started laughing again. And told daphne “Charger and there goes Mark” and we started laughing again.
I can’t forget the feeling of being so happy and glad to be playing with my friends without having a Big stone on my heart or worries to think about at the moment. The things we do are funny and stupid that 10 years down the road it will still be fresh in our minds. On top of the flying off the bridge, it seems mark has taken over one of our fellow friends spot to have his moments.
He came out with the best Joke of the day which daphne and I was laughing so hard outside of aston@ the cathay that people behind of us who overheard it were like staring at us. I would understand that this poor boy is hungry but he shouldn’t change topic so quickly that made me look at him saying “*laugh* Mark that sounds very wrong, *and I repeated his question for him to hear again*” and daphne went “Wait I check for you” and she did all the action that I couldn’t contain myself and started laughing like crazy (I can’t believe I am laughing while thinking of the question he asked lol Due to the question was very wrong if you want to know just ask me personally and I will explain fully what happen, I just gave a vague explanation ) i had successfully converter two more person to LOVE L4D2 LOl... who say it is difficult to get non- first person shooter gamer to start playing l4d lol... It way better and easier than asking them to play counterstrike. (too late now i cant do proofreading now pardon for errors)
Ok it’s late now I better go sleep.
Goodnight my wonderful slayer,
Major duivel
-MajorDuivel faced death at 11:59 PM
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Thursday, September 02, 2010
Another day had pass, and my mind is still not satisfied as I have not done anything of use today.
When I try to rack my brain to think of something to do, I couldn’t which what bounce back was emptiness. This was how I was feeling for the past few days, if I am not doing something, I always felt like I am useless.
Today even though I did went out to visit temples and pray. My day soon flew pass me as I didn’t nothing except do some paper work for my dad and game on facebook. Same old vicious cycle, come someone come and break this chain. (LOL… I have a person in mind that can break this chain but anyway shh... shall leave it hanging for now.)
Recently, it seems at times I might get insomnia and at time when I am asleep I would be dreaming and how weird. What happen in my dreams are all fragments which I could only remember when I wake up like very vaguely, you will remember what it is about. I remember having one particular dream, I dream that I was sleeping and I took my cell phone and called a friend up. Upon hearing the phone was being answered I immediately hang up the phone and resume back to sleep while in my dream. Which I woke up after that and check if I had my cell phone with me; usually I have it at the side of my bed as the dream seem so real, I was Just making sure it was a dream. And I’m not doing such a weird phone call to my friend. Thank goodness it was just a dream.
The rest of my fragmental dreams I can’t remember except waking up the next day feeling so drained and tired. That is one reason why I hate to have dreams or nightmare, I will be so tired the next morning as if I didn’t sleep at all. Scientifically said our brains are still working, and even though my body is resting but my brain is still working it’s ass off. Somehow I wish to find the button to switch it off so my mind and soul + body can rest together.
MD
-MajorDuivel faced death at 6:03 PM
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Wednesday, September 01, 2010
On teachers day it was on 31st August and I woke up feeling rather dreadful as I didn’t want to drag myself out of my cosy, comfortable bed and the weather was quite cooling in the morning. As my alarm went off and I reach to get my cell phone to shut it before it kept buzzing its head off. With that my ‘opportunist’ Dog came up to my bed to further nudge me out of my sleep mode. He is an opportunist, which he will seize every chance he had to get me to wake up to bring him down for his walk. He has lots of method to wake me up and trust me; you won’t want me to explain to you what he did.
When I was done with all my duties for the morning, I got out of my house and headed to my Secondary school, I couldn’t help but feel neutral and rather not excited about visiting the place where I once called my school. And after this visit, it did solidify why I didn’t like going back. It was not because of anything else except that the feeling of being overlooked by the teachers. you will have a feeling that being back to your previous school is like revisiting the memories, you had in that school you have with your mates and it was rather nostalgic on how young and stupid we were. I couldn’t stop smiling as those sweet memories came running back to me in full force, but my smile was wiped away when I realized that the teachers didn’t had much time for the seniors who graduated 4-5 years ago. As every year they have students graduating, it seems they were more concern about them as they are still young and needed guidance and advises. Unlike me, I am already an adult and there is a weird distance between students and teacher where it become quite awkward, I realized how the teachers can’t give us advise anymore as they have lot of other students to look out for.
I am grateful how this first and the last teacher’s day visit solidifies my stand on never going back to my secondary school again, and obviously I didn’t feel affiliated to my school anymore. it’s just like a place to take my education and move on, no matter how much effort I contributed to the school I still don’t feel a sense of pride and belonging in it as my friends are not there anymore. All it is to me is that it’s just a school with new faces of students and teachers but the building still looks the same.
When I got out school, I was starving like crazy. I woke up and left without eating anything and It was already 12pm so I ask jenny where would she prefer to have her meal, whether would it be at the coffee-shop nearby the school or at the shopping mall. After a few minutes, it was decided that we shall have our meal at the coffee-shop one thing I always hated eating there in the afternoon. It was the blaring heat you have to endure while eating your meal which makes it very hard to bear.
I had a very filling brunch which I was very contented, thereafter we went to the cinema and caught a film, there wasn’t much to choose from as most of them I have them back home. Thus it was decided to watch this Chinese flick called ‘the stood pigeons’ more like the informants for police. It was not bad, the action and the sound effect was awesome.
That’s all it was for that day. goodbye,MD
-MajorDuivel faced death at 5:34 PM
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