Friday, February 29, 2008
tomorrow is the day ya....I AM so tired hahhaa.... but anyway i am gonna take what ever is coming as it is. SMILEs. ... :)
-MajorDuivel faced death at 5:57 PM
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Monday, February 25, 2008
*breath out*
Things are so crazy! i wonder what is taking over me?
i am back to the usual self of being super lazy, sleep more than 13hrs and not wanting to lift my hands or finger to do anything.
COuld it be the weather?
Lets hope it is.
i finished my Gantt chart already and what make it worst is i got nothing to do other than stay at home. But I know there are things like get the videos from the cam cord out before my birthday but that is really not my job but... i won’t say anymore.now i am waiting for pAt to come back from HK. she will help me decorate the party. WHERE can u find such a LOVING, nice, OLDER sister as a cousin?
Few days ago before pat went Hong Kong I told her mom and i had a little argument over the cake ordering and i was so pissed off that i said: "fine! i dun want to have a cake then!"
i cant believe how could my mom be so pissed off by the people in the cake shop and then redirect the whole "i am so pissed off mood" on me when i had already mention that i was going to be late for a meeting and i really was! i went online to get the number for other cake shops and stuff and in the end the effort went to waste , on top of that I WAS RUNNINg LATE!!!
so ya when two highly irritated person is getting annoyed what happens? ya a whole argument appears.
i dun understand why?
WHY cant i argue with my mom.
but everyone else in the family could? yet i am the one always clearing up the messes and etc.
this time dad settle the whole thing for me. even WHen i came home after the meeting I gave in and apology and said it was my fault knowing that , i was not in the wrong. (pat told me to give way but what she didnt know is i been giving way since a long time)
i really wonder how much longer could i be sane.
because my brother and mother are almost the same kind , my dad is different from them and it is tiring to be around them sometimes.
next time when i go holiday i make sure i will go alone with out any family member.
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i would say i am full of grudges. my birthday i know there could be ppl who i didnt initially wanted to invite(EXCLUDING PAT's bF) but because my best friend mention the name and it kinda make me like whatever. but because this person mention did i invite some else? my replied was: "no i didnt!"
then this person said:" i promise you she wont tell that bitch about it!"
my replied : "ok invite her for me!"
but in my heart i was not like 80 percent into it because i was thinking if you want to come, you come if not then I believe in UFO(U fuck off). i am mean but that is the best cause in life not everything you face is SWEET! i think it is the trust that is lost not because i hate this person or something but like u were backstab and yet u are still friends which is werid and for me it NEVER works because once betrayed forever betrayed like what i learnt before once bitten twice shine. i never like backstabbers and because of that i cant bring myself to forget that someone SLIpped her mouth and told someone something that lead everyone who is INNOcent into a sticky situation. from then on i never talk to this person again.
my best friend knows that i still have not forget abt it. just maybe i think he is trying to lighten the situation as it was a very small matter.
he should know me best. When u fall into the bad books of mine, U Cant change back into the good one anymore. And if u are in the good books of mine i wont hesitate to move u into the bad one either.but this time i am giving him face on this invitation thing. -------------------------------------last night i got the weridest dream ever. i dreamt that on my b party. some ppl who i cut any point of contact with due to what they have done to me. they appear at my party and crash it like no other business and i HATE PARTY crasher more!! if u are someone who i am ok with that is fine if u are someone who i dislike. gone! u will suffer cause i wont give u face either even because it is my birthday i will use all force and methods to make u Leave! plus it is not the nice person u will see, it would be the one my friends didnt see before. that is one crazy dream but after that i got nice one.*SMILE* -----------------------------------------this is a long post! i wont and definitely hope someone read it cause it is not meant for everyone. soon i might consider putting it into private only invited could read.
-MajorDuivel faced death at 4:37 PM
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Monday, February 18, 2008
hi everyone & whatever this is the dark side of DUivel speaking!
i have never been the most happiest person
never ever have i been?
cause when i am smiling, somewhere deep inside me i am unhappy.
cause after so many years.
i learn to hid things,
just how much longer i could just follow suit.
listen and follow?
like i had long predicted before i went for my holiday and have my birthday party. i will never be truly happy cause there is always things happening.
*laugh* how sad is it for me.
i cant do what i want in a way without someone saying something.
i feel my life is just like my best cousin. decision are not for us to decide but rather for us to follow only.
i guess for the next few days till my birthday. i will be stuck at home so i wont anyhow spend money. NEAT... how come every year when it comes to my birthday i feel so bitter, so unhappy? i guess there is always some bad things happening. even if you say "HEY it is my birthday!" the reply would be "SO what?" i guess this is why i hate birthday. i ever did mention to someone our birthday party is not our party but rather our parents party.
i had that for 20 years already, no difference it would make by making it 21 years and going haha..
we are all puppets of other people.
puppets that have their hearts , who could breath, who have emotions but have no power in deiciding for that is what the puppet masters do.
i cant be bothered anymore......
oh yes.. i know some of my friends ask me what i want for my birthday. i just laugh and say how could they just ask me like that as this wont work. but to say the truth i dun know what i really want for my birthday.
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V day was the day after i came back from my trip but i would say i felt so bored and lonely. yes i was suffering from a jetlag but i felt i dont fit here. its like i became desperate as i need to talk to someone but there was no one.
i shall go one corner and emo by then if u see me hopefully i am not emoing anymore
-MajorDuivel faced death at 8:01 PM
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Friday, February 15, 2008
I AM BACK!!! FROM NEW ZEALAND!! woohoo... KIAAA ORRA it was a crazy, fun trip there. it was fun but sorry Mates i dont have the pictures ready yet my body is shutting down on its own now as i am gonna dose off but when i am done uploading them to my laptop i will definitely UPload it and blog abt it for now!!! Cheeers Mates!!
-MajorDuivel faced death at 4:19 PM
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