Death, is only the beginning...

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

If this world would just stop spinning for even just a while I guess I could just take a break walk around and do things I want and relax myself for once. I’m getting tired of pretending that slacking around is kind of fun and relaxing. When I have all this free time I am starting to ask myself some fundamental questions which I hope, it will just stop popping in my head.
I was also wondering if there is a time when I really need to leap off a cliff (not like bungee because it was what I wanted to try at least 1 , you live to die once only so why not try everything if you can hehe my ideology hahaha) would I do it? Would I just jump off and plunge into something I don’t know? Hm… this is like your future as you never know what is ahead of you. Thus would you just dive into something first then re-evaluate it later?
So… now I am so mentally tired. There are things that were built up since young and I had enough of it.

Every corner I turn is like walking back to the original spot,
walking in this pointless, meaningless maze is killing me horribly.
So you think I need to go holiday?
At least run away from the reality for a short period of time.

I’m still wondering how hard it is for one to understand another.
And that answer to this question is quite hard. And it is even hard to get the other person to quietly listen to you and not cut in even before you finish. Then I wonder where has the mutual respect of your own “air time” to speak gone too. I blurted out a statement once, which I even said that I didn’t mean it in any other way just like a statement, with no personal attack on that particular person. And this person being all close minded started Jumping around the place saying I was insulting him/her directly. I was very pissed off as even me being so careful of my words and tone was being mistaken so tell me How to make a coconut understand what u are trying to say. (for those who are wondering what did I say it was this “I guess this topic is going to be a every dinner topic” honestly do anyone see any needles or P.A to this?)
That is why I rather keep quiet and not say anything,
once I was told not to say anything abt my friends and etc around me to them as they have no particular interest. The other day I was just saying “what should I get for my friend, cheri” and I didn’t ask for any answers, soon after that 2 days later I told that person I know what I am going to get. And something happen and this person went “You don’t have to keep nagging at me what u are going to get for your friend, that is none of my business “ Do you know how pissed off I was?
I was very pissed off that I shut up immediately and not speak of another word. Inside my heart I was cursing like no other and also reminding myself that is why I hate to strike a conversation with that particular person. And worst of all, this person makes me so mentally drained that I have to think 10 times before saying anything. I sometimes have to even think on what I am going to say as it may be nothing but to that person it could mean HELL a lot. It is always narrow mindedness that will kill this world. Do you know how many times I would like to tell that person, GROW UP AND don’t always think you are right and correct about everything around you. (this person can’t grow up any more since he/she is quite grown up) another bad thing is this person is not Keen in listening to other people Point of view. That why I said it is very hard for me to converse with this person, I feel so mentally drain because I have to plan what to say even in a place where my defences are down.

do this person really understand what I am thinking?
do this person really know why certain things said were meant of the own good of the other party so that he/she wouldn’t be left out?

Hm so much questions inside my head.

Ok let’s change the air around here *take air freshener out*

Recently whenever I look at my finger I feel so empty as the ring I got from Malaysia, well I broke it by dropping it on the floor hahaha… so it was split cleanly into two. It is like some kind of stone(black agate) hahaha.
Today, weeh I would be going out today to get some stuff, the most impt agenda of this trip is to buy birthday presents. We already know what to get for them. So I would be so broke by end of this month, 2 birthdays back to back to each other. The next thing I am going town is to look for a hard casing for my guitar. I want it to be fully secured and rest well(hehe… She needs to be in a very comfortable environment). Now I am having doubts like Should I buy a havianas flip flop? VERY very tempted to get one though, next week is the chalet haha what I smell is fun, fun and more fun. I am still thinking how to escape from the party on Friday, I cant let mag down since she was the one whom book all of us down. Lol… headache headache…

MD

-MajorDuivel faced death at 12:48 PM